Belonging Blooms in the Classroom: 5 Ways Schools Can Better Support Adopted Students

As the school year gets underway, I’ve been reflecting on what it means for children and youth - especially those who are adopted - to return to school spaces that shape so much of their identity, self-worth, and sense of belonging. 

For over a decade, I’ve had the privilege of facilitating affinity groups for adopted students and leading all-school assemblies that open up conversations about identity and family. I’ve also worked closely with parents and caregivers - many of whom are seeking guidance on how to support their children in educational spaces that don’t always “get it.”

Here's what I’ve learned from the students I’ve served, the parents I’ve coached, and the professionals I’ve collaborated with: belonging blooms when educators recognize that family structure is deeply connected to identity—and to a child’s sense of belonging.

For adopted children and teens, school is often the first environment where differences in family structure, race and identity become visible and sometimes misunderstood. A “baby picture” day, a “family tree” assignment, or a teacher asking, “Do you look more like your mom or your dad?” can create discomfort or disconnection. But these same settings also hold incredible potential when both educators and families make intentional choices to create spaces of inclusion and empathetic care.


5 Ways to Support Adopted Students

1. Acknowledge All Family Types
Avoid assumptions. Use inclusive language like “grown-ups,” “caregivers,” or “adults at home” instead of always defaulting to “mom and dad.”
→ Educators: Model inclusive language in lessons, forms, and everyday conversation.
→ Parents: Speak up when school materials or assignments exclude your family type and use inclusive terms at home to reinforce your norm.

2. Be Trauma-Informed
Adoption often includes grief, loss, and emotional complexity. That doesn’t have to mean walking on eggshells - it means being attuned and practicing empathy.
→ Educators: Don’t assume family structure and press for personal details; build trust over time and engage with care.
→ Parents: Prepare your child for moments that may surface in school, and advocate for trauma-aware policies that support emotional safety.

3. Reflect Identity in the Curriculum and Culture
All students benefit when schools incorporate stories, visuals, and lessons that represent a wide range of family structures, cultures, and identities.
→ Educators: Audit your classroom books and materials. Who’s missing? Whose stories are centered?
→ Parents: Offer to share resources or stories from your family library that can broaden classroom inclusion. 

4. Reimagine Assignments
Well-intentioned activities like “Family Tree” projects or “The History of Your Name” can unintentionally alienate or emotionally activate adopted children.
→ Educators: Provide options that allow all students to participate with pride.
→ Parents: Make it your business to understand curriculum and prepare in the event your child brings home a challenging assignment.  If this happens, use it as a teachable moment and follow up with educators to offer constructive suggestions.

5. Build Trust Through Consistency
Belonging isn’t a one-time initiative, it’s an everyday relationship.
→ Educators: Students thrive when they know who they can count on day in and day out.
→ Parents: Build bridges with school staff early and often, not just when something goes wrong. 


A Space I Never Had

When I was growing up, these kinds of conversations didn’t happen at school or at home. I didn’t have an affinity group. I didn’t see adults modeling the both/and of being adopted especially not Black or mixed-race adopted people raised in white families. So now, I create the space I never had.

And what’s striking is this: the spaces I create and the experiences I share don’t just resonate with adopted youth. They resonate with all children navigating identity. Children of divorced or separated parents. Children who feel “different.” Children with adopted parents or siblings. When we talk about adoption and identity with care and honesty, we give all students a chance to explore their relationship to family and an opportunity to feel seen and understood.

Me in 5th Grade, Circa 1981

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April Dinwoodie Speaker · Facilitator · Adoption + Identity Expert

April Dinwoodie